Here's the interview. It was an honor to read the answers.
1.
Where did you
grow up? What are/were your parents like? Do you have siblings? What are THEY
like?
I grew up in Bensenville, IL.
It was a smaller town, built around a train freightyard. We lived in an old farmhouse that was
kitty-corner to a sheep farm, which may explain my eternal love of small
ruminants. Bensenville has the distinction of having been partially eradicated
by the O’Hare Airport expansion. It
turned a large section of town (about 600 homes) into an apocalyptic-looking
wasteland… empty houses, broken windows, overgrown weeds… like you expected
virus-infected zombies to stumble out at any minute. It’s sad, and I know Mayor Geils fought the
expansion it for a long time before he was voted out of office.
My parents were both pretty much hippies, I guess. My mom has a good story about hiding from
cops under a truckbed during the ’68 riot during the Democratic Convention in
Chicago. She lives in the woods in
northern WI with her dogs. My dad and
stepmom are RV nomads that wander around the country, finding work as they go. My folks had me when they were very young, in
1974, and my two brothers followed not long after. My brother, Tim, is an ER doctor who, for
now, splits his time in CA and TX. My
youngest brother, Andrew, was in the process of going to nursing school before
his daughter came along. I think it’s
weird that all of the Saunders kids ended up pursuing medical careers (I’m a
ex-vet tech who made the possibly unwise transition to vet school). I also have three kickass nieces that are the
coolest.
2.
What bands got
you into music and made you want to play vs watch? Are there specific moments
you remember where you felt it was more important for you to take part in
making music rather than be a spectator?
I really liked
Weird Al Yankovic as a kid. Still
do. ‘Polka Party’ was the first cassette
I picked out at the music store, and I listened to it until the tape
broke. The first bands I got into on my
own, around 13-14, were more New Wave, industrial, or hair metal: Depeche Mode,
The Cure, Bauhaus, Ministry, New Order, Guns & Roses. That kind of stuff. When I was 15, our school received another
weirdo kid, a punk skater with a pink mohawk, so I was immediately smitten, of
course. Him and his friends introduced
me to Naked Raygun and Black Flag, and I took off running from there. My first real punk show was Life Sentence /
Contracide at the Number One Soul in Elgin, IL.
It was the first time I saw a circle pit and people going nuts, and also
the first time I didn’t feel completely isolated rom the people around me. After I got my drivers license, I went into
hyperdrive with going to see bands play.
It seemed like all I did was go to shows. But that first one in Elgin, that has stuck
with me for a long time. Also, I thought
the kids in Contracide were so cool.
They played in a band but also hung out together, ate together, tried to
astral-plane project themselves to another dimension together… they were very
family-like and that, I think, was what made me try to pursue that kind of
relationship with future bands.
When
I was 14-15,
I wasn’t playing in any bands, but I was teaching myself guitar using my
dad’s
electric and tiny Crate amp. I would put
on the Standing on a Beach album by The Cure and just go song by song,
learning
by ear. My pink-mohawked beau was in a
band called Vomiting Babies on Fire (holy shit, I can’t believe that was
a real
band name). VBOF had songs with titles
like “Napalm” or “Cigarettes.” Their singer, Kurt, could not sing and
play bass
at the same time. I was watching them
practice shortly before their first show in a garage; meaning the 6
other
skaters in town were going to come watch them practice too. The
drummer, Matt, was really frustrated; he
looked at me and said, “Can YOU play bass?” and I was like “Yep. Sure?”
and they taught me their songs. Thirty minutes later, the skaters
showed up
and I played my first show. I was in the
band after that and it was pretty fun, though we didn’t really do much.
The real
“awakening” came, however, on my 16th birthday. My mom’s two biker friends, George and Liz, were
living in our basement and I thought they were the coolest people in the world. I mean, they had a ferret and rode
motorcycles! On my birthday, they took
me with them to test drive semi trucks and then bought me a distortion pedal
and taught me how to play “Ace of Spades” on the guitar. That was one of the best days of my
adolescent life and changed everything for me.
3.
What
instruments do you play and when did you start playing them? Which musicians
inspired you as a kid? Which musicians inspire you today?
Mainly now I play guitar and sing, but also have played bass and
drums. I have a real drumset now in the
basement so I’m trying to get more confident with that. I didn’t really start to write my own songs
until I was about 22 or so. At the time,
I was really into the gruffer, melodic-type punk. Dillinger 4, The Strike, Scared of Chaka,
ManAfraid, M-Blanket… those were all bands I really felt inspired by, then and
now. The time from age 20-25 was a
really intense and weird time of feeling truly immersed in the subculture I had
been drawn into. It was also a time
where I was having crippling anxiety attacks, and the desperation of wanting to
feel better was in bitter combat with the part of me that knew I was at my most
creative when extremely anxious.
Now, I think that I get inspiration from other sources. In This Is My Fist, it was mostly about being
so fed up with all the bullshit, whether from people I cared about acting
foolish, the over-the-top and ridiculous class/race disparities of the Bay
Area, or that Bush Jr. had just started a goddam war. Musically, inspiration comes from artists
like Bob Mould, Matty Luv/Hickey, The Who, and Frank Black. I saw F.B. play solo once in SF and his voice
was so beautiful, it brought tears to my
eyes. Each of these people/bands has
something unique that just latches on somewhere in my heart and tugs and tugs
at it. Frank Black has this weird way of
structuring songs so they sound like they volley between 4/4 time and 3/4 or
5/8 time, even though often, it is still just 4/4. I also like to write songs that work with a
rule-of-three in 4/4 time. It sounds
like you’re changing things up a lot within a song, even when you’re not. Bob Mould and his crazy chords are something
I can relate to personally. When TIMF started, I was not expecting to play
guitar, but I ended up doing it. Todd was a much better guitar player than I was. I
didn’t know how to play any actual chords, so I would just figure out what
sounded OK and go with it. In some of
our later songs, I had learned a bit more and was using regular chords a lot
and I don’t think it has the same discordant urgency as the earlier stuff. I still like it, it was just different.
4.
Do you feel like
you value different aspects of music/musicianship now vs when you first started
playing? How has that affected your music/writing/that kind of thing over the
years?
Definitely my relationship with music has changed. When I was younger, it was all spitfire and
beer and craziness. The shows that
Ambition Mission would throw at our house often ended with something on fire or
things equally as entertaining. Now,
there are bands I like for the musicianship and not necessarily that I think
songs are great. David Bazan is a good
example of that. I never liked Pedro the
Lion or that type of music in general, but his solo stuff is dark and
well-crafted. Even though I don’t like
all of his songs, there are a few that I listen to frequently just so I can hear
certain chord changes or bits of lyric that are really awesome.
I try to be more thoughtful when I write lyrics now. I don’t end up singing the first thing that
pops into my head. I usually write the
lyrics out, sit on it for awhile, then go back and change things that I don’t like. It didn’t used to be like that, I would just
go with my first gut instinct, which resulted in several embarrassing-to-sing
songs.
I’ve got a new, two-man band thing going now with my friend Ben, and
I am really pleased with the songs so far.
I’ve got two more years of school to go in this town, so I’m really
excited to see what happens with it.
5.
I know you're
a big Queen fan (AND SO AM I) TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEY ARE!
Oh my… this could turn lengthy.
Haha. I get a lot of flak for
being so into Queen. I think Queen wrote
exceptionally well-crafted songs. And
Freddie Mercury’s vocal abilities and musical talent far exceeded those of his
contemporaries. His voice has a timbre,
much like Frank Black, that moves me deeply.
Every measure of a Queen song is so thought out, and the effort and love
that was put into it is completely inspiring.
They have a lot of songs that are truly horrible, but even still I can
respect the musicianship that went into their construction. The wealthy excesses of Queen go against
pretty much everything that I hold sacred in punk, and I recognize that it is
hypocritical to hold them in such high regard.
But, the art they created was real and beautiful, and that is an
uncommon trait to be found in arena-rock.
Plus, I really love that they just didn’t give a fuck about anything and
made music that THEY liked, as opposed to bands that were crafted by outside
tinkerers. I also feel that way about
The Who.
Onstage, Freddie Mercury was a human tornado. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that has
the same bravado and natural ease in front of a crowd as him. The only person I can think that has that
same sort of strength is John from The Fleshies. Yeah, I just compared John Geek to Freddie
Mercury. Haha. But it’s true. John is someone who, if he does not feel
completely at ease onstage, is a master bullshitter who deserves an Academy
Award because he is so good at what he does with his music.
6.
Talk about the
songwriting process in TIMF. What inspires your lyric writing? How do you go
about putting a song together?
The
process
with TIMF was a lot different than my previous band, Ambition Mission.
In the Mission, someone would bring in a riff or part and we’d all work
on it together and Frankenstein a song together. There were very few
songs where someone
brought it in finished. It was a very
communal process and I really loved that. In
TIMF, one of us would bring in a completed song that we would
just tweak a bit. The early three-piece
incarnation of TIMF was the most inspired one, even though towards the
end, it was rife
with conflict and our own immaturity; we literally imploded upon
ourselves. We
were destined to burn out and sometimes I wonder if we should have just
called
it quits after we booted Will out of the band.
The later group was, I think, more solidly dependable and on the same
page as far as playing shows and traveling, and got along better. But
at that point, it felt like it
had turned into “my” band instead of “our” band and I really faltered
under the
weight of that. We had so much fun
playing together but it was extremely difficult for me to write anything
new.
When I write a
song, the music comes first, almost always.
The tone of the song sets the tone of the lyrics and I go from
there. I have a really hard time writing
lyrics. I never want them to sound like
I didn’t try, although that has not always worked out in the past. I have written some real stinkers over the
years, like, songs that the band liked to play as a whole, but I could barely
play live because the words were so embarrassing.
That’s my own inner shit, though, and I really have to just get over it.
When I was
first writing songs, they were solely about things that made me angry. Not that it is not the same now, there is
still a great deal to be angry over. As
much as I hate to admit it, I think I’ve mellowed a bit. I mean, unless we’re on tour, I can’t deal
with the 5-6 band show that starts late and ends at 2am anymore. A three-band show that ends before 10 or 11
is perfection to me. When I was 20, I
think I spread myself too thin with issues to feel impassioned about and would
routinely get exhausted from being angry at the world. Now, I’m rounding the bend towards 40 and
have learned to pick my battles. Things
still make me angry or anxious enough to write about it, but they tend to be more
focused on specific topics that mean the most to me: rich vs poor, haves vs
have-nots, the brutal pragmatism of nature, and the desire to escape into the
woods and never come back.
7.
Have you ever
had any kind of stage fright and has it changed over the years?
Oh dear lord,
yes. My first real, functioning band I
played in was The Mushuganas. I played
bass, no singing involved. But I was
terrified. I pretty much just looked at
my hands the whole time and would not look at the friends we were playing to. I was also at the peak of my anxiety
problems, and I still don’t know if playing shows helped or hindered me, but my
gut says it helped.
When
Ambition
Mission started, I was still weird about playing in front of people but
the
band was like, “you need to sing too,” and I really balked at it. The
other folks in the band were so
encouraging and positive, though, that it ended up being something I
became
really comfortable with, as long as we were at practice. For live
shows, however, I would need beer or
whiskey or something. I remember having
a conversation with my friend Pete, who was the singer/bass player for a
local
band called Oblivion that I adored. Pete
was/still is an amazing frontman. He’s a pretty mild-mannered guy. He’s
quiet and thoughtful. When we were roommates, he took naps everyday
after work. It was very cute. But when he got on stage, he turned into
this
crazy animal, contorting his face and body, all without influence of
drugs or
alcohol. I have never not been utterly
entertained while watching his bands play.
I asked him how he did it, how he could just get up there and yell and
be such a goof. He told me to just
mentally berate the crowd; he didn’t mean personally attack anyone, just
not
give a shit about their presence, which seemed completely antithetical
to what the
spirit of communal punk was about. I
once watched him go into full tirade mode to a crowd at the Fireside
Bowl about
how they don’t appreciate the influence that the Rolling Stones had upon
rock
and roll. It sounds weird but it was one
of the funniest things I’ve ever seen at a show. So, I tried it and it
really worked. I would be up there thinking “fuck all of you
fuckers, even though I really adore every one of you” and what-the-hell,
it
worked. I think that practice only
lasted a short time and then, probably by pure desensitization, I got
over the
stage fright part. If I play solo,
however, then all bets are off the table.
I am pretty sure I’ve been lit for every solo show I’ve ever done
because it is still so nerve-wracking.
8.
How awesome is
Alan Rickman? Talk about how glorious he is.
Oh, where to
start? The sweeping waves of auburn hair… the feline eyes… the deep, rumbly voice saying “Give me my detonators;”
my love is strong for this one. My least
favorite incarnation of A.R. is the Snape character. I thought I would love a goth-y Alan Rickman
but it turns out I do not. He is one of
my top movie-star crushes. It is a weird
group that also involves Christopher Guest, Gene Wilder, and Ed Harris.
I do love that
you and I have this mutual fascination with A.R. It is a bond that will stay strong
forever. I am pretty sure that decades
from now, when he dies, no matter where we are, we will think of each other and
that makes me smile.
9.
Have you any
stories involving the strange and paranormal?
OHMYGOD,
yes!!!
When
I was
fifteen, I fell asleep on the couch watching the Kids in the Hall. I
woke up to whispers in my ear. They were so close that I could feel
the
breath on my skin. I brought the sheets
up over my head and just sat there, shaking, trying to process what had
happened. My heart was beating
frantically, but I eventually calmed down and was starting to conclude
that I
was dreaming. Then, something hit the
pillow next to me with so much force, like someone slamming both fists
downwards or dropping something from high up in the air. It left a
softball-sized indent in the
pillow. Now THAT scared the shit out of
me, for real. I had been fully awake
when that happened. I straight-up bolted
out of the living room and into my mom’s room, like a scared kid. I
asked if I could sleep with her and she
mumbled “of course” and fell back asleep.
So, I laid down, lying on my back with the sheets still pulled up over
my head, and just freaked out internally for a while. I felt our big
tom-cat, Bruno, jump up on my
belly and sit there. That was something
he always did. He was a big guy, but he
got heavier and heavier and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I moved the
sheets away from my face so I could
push him off of me and there was nothing there.
But something was still pressing down on my stomach. Then, that
pressure just felt like it moved
down through me, out my back, and into the mattress beneath me. I never
had anything like that happen again
but I did not like our house much after that.
I don’t know if it was something physical/mental happening in me, or a
ghost, or whatever, but I can’t explain it.
The really crazy parts that happened occurred when I was fully
awake.
Interesting
addendum: My pink-haired beau’s parents were super religious zealots. Like, they would sit us down and make us
watch videos from their church about how Michael Jackson and Ozzy Osbourne were
minions of the devil. Or, that a sign of
the impending apocalypse was that we would all have chips embedded in our skin,
and that Revelations was already upon us.
The day after I had that experience, I mentioned it to Ryan’s mom while
we waited for him to get home from juvie.
She told me some crazy stories about hooded figures lifting up her bed
and demons chanting in her ears… all kinds of nutty shit. She asked if I had a Ouija board and I said
that I did. My parents had gotten me one
for Christmas. She asked me to bring it
over and I got kind of stoked. Like,
this crazy person that thinks Michael Jackson is an evil warlock is going to
try and conjure up some demons and shit, so, of course, I was all for it. I went
and got the board and brought it to her.
She ripped it out of my hands, and before I could say anything she was
out the door, carrying a container of kerosene.
She brought the board down to the creek and lit it on fire. Then, she started chanting and praying over
it. She got all sweaty and trance-y and
it was probably the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I just stood there and couldn’t stop watching
her. Then she came back to the house and
made us some sandwiches like nothing insane had just happened.
THANKS ANNIE YOU ARE THE BEST... <3 (I got a sneak peek/listen of Annie's new stuff with her friend Ben and it is AMAZING. I'll definitely be sharing it when it goes up for real on the internet and in real life.)
Check out This Is My Fist here.
